“Witless Protection”
Season 3, Episode 6
Air Date

June 17, 2013 {{{pc}}}


J.J. Wall


Sean Lambert

Episode Guide

Meet the McKrupnicks


Jack Stands Alone


Witless Protection is the sixth episode in Season 3 of Kickin' It. It aired on June 17th, 2013.


When the gang witnesses a robbery by the notorious criminal Benny the Blade, they bravely agree to testify against him. But after Benny escapes from jail and seeks revenge, the gang enters the Witness Protection Program and is sent to a farm in the middle of nowhere where they work as farmhands to earn their keep.



  • The gang were sent to a farm. Ironically In Indiana Eddie, Milton is allergic to cows, scared of hay, and his shoulders were too skinny for overalls.
  • Rudy makes a reference to flipping off someone, which also means, "f*** you." Another one of these references are made in Good Luck Charlie.
  • One of the scenes when the gang identify Benny, one of the guys look is Leo Howard's father.
  • It is revealed that Milton got hypothermia from a smoothie.
  • In Milton's Guatemalan mariachi band cover, Milton would be Senorita Rosa and Kim would be Jorge.
  • Rudy tries milking a cow, but he ended up milking a bull.
  • When Rudy is hit by a barrel, this is a reference to Donkey Kong.
  • Chappy Chapman is a parody of Happy Chapman from the Garfield movie.

Memorable Quotes

Jack: Check it out the guys are coming out of the athletic authority.

Jerry: Sweet, must be their annual ski mask sale.

Jack: Jerry, those are robbers

Rudy: This finger was born to do two things and one of them is point at bad guys.

Milton: What was the other thing?

Rudy: I don't feel comfortable saying it in front of the cop.

Jerry: I'll say it. Chappy has the best hair in Seaford.

Jack: I'm sitting right here. (Everyone looks at Jack weirdly)

Rudy: Children form a human shield around me.... for your own safety.

Jebidadah: So,uh where did you work last?

Milton:Over yonder ways...

Jack: For old Mcdonald.....

Kim: He had a farm.....

Jerry: E-I-E-I-O (Jack hits him)

Kim:You act like a rooster, draw her out and I'll grab the egg.

Jack: Kim I'm not acting like a roo-" (Kim cuts him off)

Kim: A handsome rooster.

Jack:That I could do.

Jack: You and your little chicken brain are no match for me and my- (Rooster attacks him)

Jerry: I have develop feelings for Lily and I wanted to ask your permission to be her...(Jebidadah stands up his pitchfork) her penpal. See you later, Lily. Write me. (Runs out of the farm)


For a full transcript of Witless Protection, click here.

Photo Gallery

To view the Witless Protection gallery, click here.

Video Gallery

Kickin It Witless Protection Clip

Kickin It Witless Protection Clip

Kickin' It: Witless Protection Preview Clip

Kickin' It Episodes
Season One
Wasabi Warriors | Fat Chance | Dummy Dancing | Dojo Day Afternoon | Swords and Magic
Road to Wasabi | All the Wrong Moves | Ricky Weaver | Wax on, Wax off | The Commercial | Kung Fu Cop
Boo Gi Nights | Clash of the Titans | Badge of Honor | The Great Escape | Dude, Where's My Sword?
Breaking Board | Reality Fights | Kickin' It in China | The Wrath of Swan | Rowdy Rudy
Season Two
Rock'em Sock'em Rudy | My Left Foot | We are Family | Eddie Cries Uncle | Skate Rat | Capture the Flag
It Take Two To Tangle | Buddyguards | Dojo Day Care | Indiana Eddie | Kim of Kong | Kickin' It Old School
The Chosen One | Hit the Road Jack | A Slip Down Memory Lane | Wedding Crashers
Wazombie Warriors | Sole Brothers | All the President's Friends | New Jack City | Karate Games
Kickin' It On Our Own | Oh, Christmas Nuts!
Season Three
Spyfall | Dueling Dojos | Glove Hurts | The Sub Sinker | Meet the McKrupnicks | Witless Protection
Jack Stands Alone | Two Dates and a Funeral | Win, Lose or Ty | Sensei and Sensibility | Gabby's Gold
The New Girl | Fawlty Temple | Seaford, We Have a Problem | Temple of Doom | Mama Mima
Home Alone at School | School of Jack | Queen of Karts | How Bobby Got His Groove Back
Return of Spyfall | Wasabi Forever
Season Four
The Boys are Back in Town | Gold Diggers | From Zeros to Heroes | The Stang | Nerd With a Cape
RV There Yet? | Invasion of the Ghost Pirates | The Amazing Krupnick | The Battle of Seaford Hill
Fight at the Museum | Tightroping the Shark | Full Metal Jack | Martinez & Malone: Mall Cops!
Seaford Hustle | Kickin’ It In The Office | Bringing Down The House | You Don't Know Jack
The Grandmaster
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