Thread:This.Is.Me.Bethany./@comment-5750239-20130116012946/@comment-5621472-20130121030947

You have MAGNIFICENT advice. And you are totally right, I guess I think of him as one of the popular boys and I'm the nobody that just writes stories on my laptop. I guess I just place in the emotion in my stories, not entirely but some. I made new friends after the others drifted apart and the more that I hung around them, I got comfortable enough to talk to though I have a hard time respondind and creating conversation with. I guess that's what you mean right?

What's entirely funny though is that, the one girl 2 years ago had dated my crush for 5 months. I thought she was stealing my friends and everything because of how likable she is, and when she said that she never heard me talk I was like "You never will." in my mind. I thought so not entirely nice of her mainly because of jealously and when they broke up I kind of felt bad that he lost a great girl and distant myself from him so he'll realize it.

Then I noticed how great she actually is this year and grew to like her. Now I hang around her with other friends and most importantly there are guys I hang around with but no talking. I guess the year took turns that made me grow confidence in messaging him how I feel. What am I rambling on about? Sorry.

So I tried smiling like what others said, when he comes around. He just had this straight face and I gave him a small smile and continued walking and I just dropped my smile immediately and thought how foolish I was. I feel like I'm changing just for him (not because of what I wrong about my new friends) and making a fool of myself.

I will try doing something : Help? Any small gestures? This monday.

I'm sorry. I feel like I'm annoying you or something. I'm really sorry. Yep, things are complicated.