User blog:Jenny56852/Taking a Chance

Ok, guys this is the story I wrote for fanfiction tell me if it's good so I can post it. Also, I'll appreciate some constructive critisism.

Taking a Chance

Kim’s P.O.V

It was early in the morning in Seaford high school. All the wasabi warriors were standing by Jack’s locker listening to Eddie drone one about his new status as a “playah”.

“I am now officially a playah; you all owe me ten bucks!” Beamed Eddie.

“Yo this bites. Not cool man, not cool.” Complained Jerry as he forked over ten dollars.

“Hey, the deal was if I get a date by the end of this month, you each give me ten bucks.” Said Eddie proudly.

“You know Eddie;” started Milton “dating one girl doesn’t make you a playah. It’s scientifically proven that-“

“Just give him ten bucks!” Screamed the group. Milton mumbled something about not appreciating science and gave Eddie the money.

“Here you go Eddie. I’m proud of you for getting a date.” Said Jack being the nice, supportive guy that he is. Eddie accepted his money with a smile on his face.

“I don’t have ten bucks” I said happily since now I didn’t have to give well-earned money away on a stupid bet. I looked at everyone in the group with a frown, and big hopeful puppy dog eyes on my face.

“Not going to happen!”

“Nice try Kim”

Were the things that stood out as the guys denied my request. So, I decided to use another approach...

“Give. Him. The. Money. I said through clenched teeth taking a threatening step with each word.

The guys scrambled over and threw Eddie the money. They gave me a fearful look as I had a triumphant smirk on my face.

We heard a deafening roar as the bell rang. The halls were soon packed with students as we made our way to the first class of the day. May the boring begin.

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We were sitting in math class listening to the teacher go on and on about proportions. Even though I had long ago tuned her out. I took a quick glance at Jack, he looked half asleep. I giggled quietly knowing Jack wanted the teacher to shut up so he could finally sleep. I was so bored I stared at the clock for the next ten… fifteen minutes… I desperately wanted time to go faster so I could go kick some dummies at the dojo. “Tick tock, tick tock” was all I heard as I focused on the clock and only the clock. When all of a sudden:

“Will you send Milton Krupnick, Eddie Fals, Jerry Martinez, Jack Anderson, and Kim Crawford down to the principles office?”

I was in such a dazed state I practically jumped two feet in the air. With wide eyes we grabbed our belongings, scrambled out of our chairs, and headed towards the principles office. The halls were eerily quiet. The only things you could hear were are footsteps and our labored breathing as we made our way down the brightly lit halls. When we finally got there, we were extremely relieved to find a short blond haired man sitting on a chair. Rudy. What could possibly be so important that he had to drag us out of school? Unless… Oh no, not again… Rudy jumped out of his chair. “Guys! We’re needed at the dojo! ''Urgently. ''“I could see how much he stressed the fact that we understood what he was talking about. On our way to the dojo I couldn’t help the flashbacks that flashed across my mind.

''“Kim, I have to let go!” ''

“Molly please, both of us can live through this!” Tears welled up in my eyes.

''“Goodbye Kim, I hope you never forget me.” ''

''“Molly, please!” I was pleading desperately. ''

''“I’m sorry…” Molly whispered letting go of the rope that carried her life. ''

''“Molly!” I yelled, tears streaming down my face as Jack pulled up the rope that I was clinging too. '' I sobbed quietly and turned towards the window so no one could see me. Nobody said a word when we got to the dojo. We each knew what was coming. We were all walking slowly to Rudy’s closet despite the fact he said it was urgent.

“Kim, hold on.” I turned around as Jack grabbed my wrist. I looked into his eyes. Trying to see if he understood what I was feeling.”It’ll be okay Kim, no one’s getting hurt again” he told me softly looking into my eyes.

“How are you so sure?” I told him sadly

“Because what happened last time was a mistake. It’ll never happen again. Everything’s going to be fine in the end, and we’ll win as a team.” He gave me a quick hug and we went to stand in front of the closet with everybody else.

“Hurry up guys. The Director said we had to be in there in less than fifteen minutes.” Rudy told us quite sympathetically.

Rudy reached into the closet and pressed a small green button on the corner. In an instant, the closet disappeared and was replaced by a big silver elevator. We held our breath as it opened and Rudy stepped inside. One by one we each stepped inside, I was the only one left. Finally, I took a shaky step forward and the door closed. We were all dead silent as the elevator swooped down, down, and to the sides, kind of like my stomach. To an outsider, you would think something was wrong with us. We were all so serious, even Jerry had wiped that goofy smile off his face. The door opened and you saw one hall lit up by a lonely light bulb. We stepped inside and walked like we were headed towards our doom, which frankly I think we were. Rudy went to the huge door ahead. As he put his hand on a scanner, a light came out and scanned eye and took a picture of him. The door opened to a chaotic room. We scurried in after him. The room was huge with roofs that looked like they soared across the sky. It had the latest technology, and technology the public hasn’t even heard of. Like teleportation devices, transportable holograms on watches, and a lot more. The room had a sort of sci-fi look to it.

The room went quiet. Gasps were heard from people with shocked faces, and fingers were pointed as we made our way to the Director’s office. The door opened and the Director looked at us with his icy blue eyes. I looked at him; he was a big man, around his thirties. He has blond hair and green eyes and is around five foot nine. He has a kind and warm personality, except on rare days when he’s in a bad mood. I think today is one of those days…

He looked at all of us, a neutral expression on his face, but I saw a brief look of relief flash across his eyes. “Agents, we have a new mission for you”. We all looked at him, but all I could think was, what did I get myself into?

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Tell me what you thought, even if you tell me it's terrible and I'm wasting my time lol. I'll take anything right now and tell me if it's good enough for fanfiction.