Talk:Kick/@comment-5601143-20121221163524

Sorry I haven't been on much lately guys. And to any one who reads my one shot collection on Fanfiction.net (MsRobinsonCrusoe17), I'm really sorry that I haven't written in forever. I'm visiting my old high school right now and I won't have time to type it up here. We still don't have tv/wifi at my house. My mum should have started looking for a job earlier. I'm not mad at her, I'm just frustrated. I'm just really physically and emotionally exhausted. I am trying to lose weight for the whole L.A. Disney Channel acting thing, but it is REALLY hard. Like I can't bloody lose it and my self confidence has never been lower. Last Friday, I came REALLY close to cutting myself. Like dangerously close. I was ready to go and get the knife. I am sorry I'm telling you guys all this stuff, I thought you guys would understand. Plus, I still haven't found a job. My best friend Jocelyne, who is going to L.A. with me, made a plan with me that if I lose the weight by June and I have like 800 or 1000 dollars that she'll go with me to the Palisades Mall and help me buy a whole new wardrobe :) Plus, I'm going to get a snapback too :) <3 But yeah, I don't think I've ever been this depressed and it is really scaring me guys :'( Like I'm bloody terrified. All my life, I've been bullied in middle and high school and they would say all sorts of mean things to me and humiliate me in public and I am really starting to believe the things that they are saying. Like how I'm a fat, ugly bitch (excuse the language) and all this other stuff. You wouldn't know by looking at me, that I am really sad and depressed. I'm just really good at faking a smile :'( :'(