Talk:Kick/@comment-1371251-20140209190405

I'm only going to post this right now and I'll delete it in a while. Knowing myself I am so regretting it.

Here goes nothing.

Calli: You make me feel like I've just been punched in the stomach. My life goal is to be liked by people. To fit in. And god dammit I care about you so much. I always want you to be ok. I want to help you. You can tell me everything you want. You can open up to me. I've tried to get close to you so many times. Asking and saying and promising. Even Sherlock was an attempt to get us close. It doesn't work. There's this thing- it's happened before- that people have this selection process: they chose people they can trust, even if they aren't trust worthy- and they choose ther poeple who actually care about them to just be frieds with. I always end up there and I don't know why the actual fig that happens. I DO care about you and it DOES  hurt when you say otherwise.

Vin: I thought we were going to the ultimate best friends but it didn't work out. I appreciate you a lot and I miss you.

Brooke: I want to know you better. I really do.

Rachel, Sodapop and Saphire: I am 90% sure you guys don't consider me your friend and I respect that.

Allie: You're too cool for me. I wanted to be close to you, but we never really got there.

Amz: I can't express how much I appreciate you in words.

Anna: I miss you so much, best friend. I think like I destroyed everything we had, you knwo in the friend way. You mean so much to me.

Brookelyn: I want to get to know you so much better. You're so funny and clever, and I wanted to be close to you. I wanted to be a person you could trust and I wanted to trust you.

Nicky (if you even see this):I've told you this enough times, but you're the greatest friend I've had and I destoryed it and it hurts so much. Lying is he thing I regret the most in this life ever. I miss you so much and I know we'll never be as close as before. I love you so much.

I am crying right know. I am so sorry for everything and I know I don't desreve you guys. I get that Calli feels left out but you guys always knott me out of the family. I have a middle-high bipolar disorder. I laugh loudly sometimes, when I'm angry. SOmetimes I feel like I can do anyhting only to realize I was being stupid. My self esteem is lower than it could be. I feel like I am the disgrace of my family-. I know I am.

I can't even fit in in fandoms. I can't fit in. I never ever will.

Goodbye, family.

I'm always checking.

Promise.

Just won't reply for a while.

My name isn't even Jacee.

I'm not ven Canadian.

i am a lousy thirteen year old Mexian disgrace wanting to be something she's not just   to fit in.

I don't want your pity guys.

Thanks, five people who bothered reding.

I appreciate it.