Talk:Kick/@comment-5621386-20130202034702

Hey guys, ranting time. This time, I think it's more serious than the other times. But it is rated T for certain reasons.

Damn, my life is messed up. How many times have I ranted here, to a guidance counselor, or to a friend? Way too many to count. And each time is a different problem...

Anyway, this starts today morning. I didn't have school today, but I woke up early anyway to finish my weekend homework (Go ahead, laugh. I'm a good-two shoes and I know it). Anyway, my mom didn't realize I was awake, just in my room. So I overheard her talking over the phone to my aunt/her sister. And I hear  her say that I wasn't supposed to be born. That's when I realized I was a mistake. The rest of the conversation is about how when she married my dad (who is my real father), she was hoping for another child. Hopefully a son. And that makes me feel worse, cause I know I can never be a guy. She wanted someone who would bring home sport trophies AND be smart at school, while looking good. Sadly, I only bring out the smartness, and I can never do the other two. Then she says about how my dad and her don't get along and I hear a lot of insults in his name and everything. Later, I felt like I needed to get out, so I tell my mom I'm going to the local store to buy some stuff for a school fundraiser (which I did have to do). So she let me, and my mom NEVER lets me go out alone, let alone 4 blocks to a store in a quiet neighborhood with barely any people out at that time of day. I get my stuff, and even though it was about 30 degrees Farenheit, I wear a light jacket. I get my stuff, and take the longest path I could think of on my way home.

Anyway, my mom tells me to call someone, and I tell her I'm busy and she snaps at me that if she and my dad seperate, it would have been my fault. That I'm a mistake. And that's when I start to cry. Meanwhile, a friend was supposed to come over that day for a project, but I tell her not to, and that we could work online through chat and all. So I get my project done.

After that, my dad comes home, and I'm drawing on my bed. He tells me to do something more useful, and I just ignore him cause I just had enough.

So to sum it all up- I found out I'm a mistake, my mom always wanted a son that could carry on the family name cause guys are THAT MUCH better than girls, and I'm not useful.

The worst part is that my birthday is in two months, and I was kind of excited compared to other years, because I'm turning thirteen. Now that I know that I wasn't supposed to be born, I hate my birthday, and I wonder if it would have been better if that day hadn't existed, and if I hadn't existed.

So, how was your Friday?